go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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