I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
