I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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