idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
