I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
