we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hippo gnu deer
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
