wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I want to make a zoo with you.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
