There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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