Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I bet he comes in French.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
