you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I will pee on everything he values.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
