I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
