so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
