Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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