you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
