I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
