i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
