dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
