Your face is a jimmy john
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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