She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
