We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
