I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
