Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
