I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
