PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
