Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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