I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i drank out of a bidet.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
