I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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