I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
