haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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