Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
