Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
