I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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