i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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