he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
