You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
