sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
