I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
