I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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