i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
