belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
