I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
