I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
