You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
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