drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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