i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
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