if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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