Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
