you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
