I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
