Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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